As much as we enjoy parenthood, we worry a lot too. We worry from the moment they are born till the moment we take our last breath!
We worry about their education, good grades, good name, their behaviour, how to discipline them, their social skills, will they handle their responsibilities well and so on! All this is natural as in general we are being responsible by worrying about them and therefore, always seeking the best options for our children.
A single or divorced parent or an ill parent would face even more worries.
So for parents, it’s a never ending worry game that we play.
Today we are writing about a particular worry called ‘Discipline’. What ideas does this word bring in your minds? Harsh punishment, insensitive attitude, raising your voices or difficult restrictions! Often we relate these to discipline. But friends discipline also stands for being firm without raising your voices, taking control of the situation and not letting the situation co
ntrol you. If you flip when something goes wrong, your child will think that it is okay to flip. It will result in a negative outcome and we certainly don’t want our children to learn that. We’ve mentioned in our previous newsletter that if a situation is that bad that anger takes over, leave the room or take a few seconds to cool down. By doing this, it will help you regain your self-control. It will set a positive example to your child that a bad situation can be resolved without emotions of anger or frustration taking over. Your child will learn the same by observing your reaction. Always remember this – ‘Children may or may not be good listeners but they are very good at imitating!’
So how will you discipline your child?
Children have to be disciplined according to their age.
A 4-7 years old age group can be disciplined with time-out methods or counting technique.
Children aged 8 + are very aware of judging others’ reaction and relate themselves to others. He can very well understand how and why his actions will affect others (in a good way or a bad way). At this age it’s more about teaching than control. They are more willing to understand good or bad, right or wrong! Consistency is a must as with every age. Don’t miss any opportunity he/she gives you to make them understand what was right or wrong in any particular situation. Discuss rather than disapprove!
The discipline that is effective with the above age is not appropriate with the teens. Teenagers need proper set of rules in place at home.
Rules have to be fair - where as parents we might have to compromise on a few things because the world is changing and we’ve got to keep up.
Consistent – Just because we’re on the phone doesn’t mean they can watch TV without finishing their homework. If we’ve set that as a rule, we’ve got to make sure that we stick to it. This will make them understand that they can’t test the rules we’ve set.
Involve them – Let them have their say too. By communicating with them during setting the rules they are more likely to act in accordance with them.
Don’t forget who you are – They are very good at telling us what their friends do or don’t. But if those things are against your values, you need to tell your teenager in a straightforward manner. Yes the world is changing and we have to keep up but not at the cost of our values.
Helping your child see the outcome of their behaviour in the way they understand is a great thing you could do for your child at any age! |
